


4:45am

by DracoPotter80



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cuddles, Dean is too tired for her shit, Gen, I don't tag right lol, Protective Dean Winchester, Sam is briefly mentioned, Sleepy Cuddles, also my lights flickered and I shit you not the first thing I thought was GET THE SALT, cute one-shot, do i care?, it was 3am when i wrote this, no, sleepy Dean is adorable, snuggles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-07-23 00:01:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7458751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DracoPotter80/pseuds/DracoPotter80
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kenzie is having an existential crisis at 4am and Dean has to deal with it. </p><p>It's better than the summary I swear</p>
            </blockquote>





	4:45am

What is my purpose? I wonder as I lay flat on my face on the dirty, and faded carpet of the motel. Ever since I had watched that one British boy on YouTube I couldn't stop thinking about my place in the universe and all the what ifs my life held. I believed he called it an “existential crisis”.

I lift my face from the floor and hear Dean snoring softly beside me in bed. He hasn't had an existential crisis before, lucky bastard. 

What am I supposed to do with my life? I ask mentally. Sure I was a hunter, born and raised but was there more? Is there some quintessential part of me that I am somehow missing? Moving my gaze from Dean to the clock on the bedside table I glare at the red flashing numbers. No wonder I'm so philosophical, it's 4:45am. Sighing loudly I once again lay my face on the smelly carpet, praying to chuck I don't contract some disease from doing so. 

I should be happy right? I somehow managed to live to 28, while to a regular human this may seem young but to hunters, I am almost 50. I also have Dean who I love and while he may not say it often he loves me too, and Sam who fills the family shaped hole in my heart. And yet I'm not happy, in fact, I'm quite stressed.

What if one day Dean decides life's too short and just leaves? What if the universe has some cosmic agenda against me and thinks it's fun to play with me and sweeps my feet out from under me once more? Why is my life filled with so many if’s?! Also, what if I wanted to be an actor or something? Or a YouTuber? Or a surgeon? I am, whether I think I am or not, still young and have my entire life ahead of me. Do I want to spend it covered in blood that I've spilt? Then that begs the other question would I be good at anything else. I can fire any gun and vamps beware when I get a machete but what if that's all I have to offer?

I lift my head once more and look at the clock. 4:48, great. I sigh loudly again and this time I known Dean heard it. With a groan he rolls over and looks at me with hooded and foggy eyes. 

“Kenzie, why are you on the floor?” He says with a sleep-depended voice. 

“Contemplating my existence and exploring the many facets of ‘if’” I say sheepishly. I hadn’t intentionally sighed so loud but that tends to happen when one thinks too hard. 

“I'm not awake enough for this shit, c’mere” he says while throwing the blanket open, creating a space for me to lay. I immediately get up and slide Into his warmth, resting my face in the crook of his neck, his arm snakes around my waist as he pulls me closer into his body heat. I am completely enveloped in Dean Winchester and I can't seem to mind. 

“What did you mean by that?” He grumbles. 

“There are so many if's to think about Dean. What if I die tomorrow or if I want to be something other than a hunter only to find out I'm not good at anything else? What if I break my back and am paralyzed from the waist down and what if you decide I'm not good enough any…” I'm cut off abruptly by Dean's voice. 

“Don't you ever say that again Kenzie, you are everything and more to me. As for the other things, well… Yes, so much could happen tomorrow, you'd go crazy tryna think of everything that could possibly transpire. Instead you gotta focus on what is happening. The here and now” he says gripping my waist tighter. I know I should be agreeing, but the weight of the world seemed to be sitting on my shoulders. And yet, the longer I lay in Dean's arms I realize that as long as I have him maybe life won't be so bad. He’s right, I need to focus on the here and now and not worry about my possible future. 

I feel hot tears prick the back of my eyes from the sudden realization but I don't let them fall, instead I take my face from its safe spot and kiss Dean’s jaw. He immediately leans down and presses his lips lightly on mine in a chaste kiss that makes me feel warm. 

“Thank you Dean, you're right. But maybe I should stop watching videos labeled “existential crisis” at three in the morning” I murmur, once again snuggling into his neck. He chuckles heartily, a rich sound that reverberates through his chest. 

“Yeah I think that would be wise, get some sleep babe we have to be up at first light,” Dean says closing his eyes. I try to stay still and stifle my giggle, yet Dean still manages to feel it and he cracks one eye open.

“What now Kenz?” He says exasperatedly. 

“Look outside Dean,” I say, nodding my head towards the window that was peaking sunlight through the spaces in the curtains. 

“Son of a Bitch!”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys I hope you liked this little one-shot I wrote while I was super tired. 
> 
> My bff Kenzie and I (hence the name) were having existential crisises late last night and this kind of came to me. So yeah. 
> 
> I meant for it to be funny but it turned deep lol 
> 
> Also do you know who I meant in the first paragraph? Let me know in the comments If you caught it!
> 
> Please leave a comment and tell me what you think! All criticism is welcome too! You


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